So, What’s The Question?

I enjoy listening to writers and reading their interviews but always wait for that moment when the questions turn from the writer’s books to something else. To questions that don’t have any real relevance to anything but sound as if they do.  To questions about the author’s writing process and the so-called rules of writing.  Now, I admit I like to hear about process, to hear how authors get the job done, but in a purely "oh, isn’t that interesting" way.  Not so that I can figure out how my process should work.  I can only write the way I write.  Every now and then I stop and think, maybe I should try that new-to-me strategy but then I get slapped back to reality.  Quick.

The authors being asked these questions are usually very polite.  I’m generally not so I’ll tell you what I believe the real answers to these questions are.

1.  Question:  How many hours per day/days per week do you write?  Real answer: However many hours  per day or days per week it takes to write whatever needs to be written.  No, really, that’s it.  There’s no magic number.  No great mystery to solve.  Authors write when they write and write until the words are on the paper.  If there were a secret formula - a right answer - someone in the publishing industry would have put this delicious information in a book and made billions years ago. 

2. Question:  What font should I use/what should the margins be/what goes in the header?  Real Answer:  There are about 108,000 websites that will help you with this.  Also, I hate to tell you but unpublished authors care much more about this crap than published authors do.  Probably more than anyone else on Earth, including the editors reviewing your manuscripts.  Unpublished authors care because we’re told it matters and contest results confirm that notion.  But the truth is that some published authors are so in demand, they could write a 400 page book on a series of those little yellow sticky pads and their editors would be thrilled (see: Nora Roberts).   So, don’t ask them.  They don’t really know.  They do what they do and what they’ve always done.  For you, just use common sense.  As for hints?  Don’t submit anything written in crayon.  Don’t use the Wingdings font (what the hell is that for anyway?) and margins should not be .02. 

3.  Question:  What is your process/how do you write?  Real Answer:  The author’s answer has almost no bearing whatsoever on your writing.  Some authors will say they write the good parts first.  My response is, huh? Some will say they have a 70-90 page synopsis then the book writes itself from there. My response - thinking about constructing a 5 page synopsis makes me weep. If you really want to go insane, go check out Alison’s plotting board.  Honestly, one look at that sucked all the creative juices right out of me for a month.  But, and here’s the point, it works for her.  Go read her SG-5 series and you’ll see that I’m right on this. 

So do what works for you and get back to work.

7 Responses to “So, What’s The Question?”

  1. Teresa Says:

    LOVE your list of questions - especially the FONT one. It’s scary - I’ve actually been in a room when people have asked that question, or, my personal fave, asked an author about how she saves her files on the computer. I’m NOT kidding *sigh*.

    The only time I ask the writing process one is when I’m doing an interview for a magazine - it’s one readers do like to see addressed, but as I never publish the article in Q&A style, I work the answer in in a natural way.

  2. HelenKay Says:

    If I heard someone ask an author how he/she saves files, I’d whip my shoe at them. I know there is a theory out there that there are no dumb questions, but come on.

  3. cece Says:

    LOL Helen this is great. The new RWR has a thing on “the mythical rules of romance writing” and I thought, well it’s about time!

  4. Alison Kent Says:

    Are you calling me insane?????? *gg*

  5. HelenKay Says:

    Actually, Alison, I think I might be. Your plotting board scares the hell out of me. I can’t look at it without reaching for the vodka bottle. Clearly, you are a stronger woman than I am :)

  6. Tod Goldberg Says:

    The way I answer these questions typically relates to how many people are in the audience and if I feel like my trip across the country to sign seven books should be emotionalized via my responses to stupid questions. So let’s take a look:

    1. Question: How many hours per day/days per week do you write? This question occurs at booksignings, when I teach and, frequently, when my wife wants to know what the hell is taking me so long. My answer, depending upon my mood, swing from “It’s a full time job, so I treat it as such” to “Who are you, the IRS?”

    2. What font should I use/what should the margins be/what goes in the header? Sweet christ on Easter Sunday, I’ve heard this question 100 times and its always asked by a man or a woman wearing a mou-mou and carrying around a dog eared copy of their own velabound novel. Times New Roman, people, Times New Roman. Unless you want to take up space, in which case Courier. Unless you’re a serial killer, then its wingdings all the way.

    3. Question: What is your process/how do you write? I wake up, my man servant brings me my tea, I take a stroll about the garden, and then I type for 15 hours and come up with two useable pages.

  7. HelenKay Says:

    Okay, Tod, now that I know about the man servant, I’m moving in. While you’re in the garden sipping your tea Mr. Man Servant can cook my breakfast, give me a massage and fetch me a pool towel. This is perfect. Wendy clearly has been withholding this important info. Damn her.

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