I enjoy listening to writers and reading their interviews but always wait for that moment when the questions turn from the writer’s books to something else. To questions that don’t have any real relevance to anything but sound as if they do.  To questions about the author’s writing process and the so-called rules of writing.  Now, I admit I like to hear about process, to hear how authors get the job done, but in a purely "oh, isn’t that interesting" way.  Not so that I can figure out how my process should work.  I can only write the way I write.  Every now and then I stop and think, maybe I should try that new-to-me strategy but then I get slapped back to reality.  Quick.

The authors being asked these questions are usually very polite.  I’m generally not so I’ll tell you what I believe the real answers to these questions are.

1.  Question:  How many hours per day/days per week do you write?  Real answer: However many hours  per day or days per week it takes to write whatever needs to be written.  No, really, that’s it.  There’s no magic number.  No great mystery to solve.  Authors write when they write and write until the words are on the paper.  If there were a secret formula - a right answer - someone in the publishing industry would have put this delicious information in a book and made billions years ago. 

2. Question:  What font should I use/what should the margins be/what goes in the header?  Real Answer:  There are about 108,000 websites that will help you with this.  Also, I hate to tell you but unpublished authors care much more about this crap than published authors do.  Probably more than anyone else on Earth, including the editors reviewing your manuscripts.  Unpublished authors care because we’re told it matters and contest results confirm that notion.  But the truth is that some published authors are so in demand, they could write a 400 page book on a series of those little yellow sticky pads and their editors would be thrilled (see: Nora Roberts).   So, don’t ask them.  They don’t really know.  They do what they do and what they’ve always done.  For you, just use common sense.  As for hints?  Don’t submit anything written in crayon.  Don’t use the Wingdings font (what the hell is that for anyway?) and margins should not be .02. 

3.  Question:  What is your process/how do you write?  Real Answer:  The author’s answer has almost no bearing whatsoever on your writing.  Some authors will say they write the good parts first.  My response is, huh? Some will say they have a 70-90 page synopsis then the book writes itself from there. My response - thinking about constructing a 5 page synopsis makes me weep. If you really want to go insane, go check out Alison’s plotting board.  Honestly, one look at that sucked all the creative juices right out of me for a month.  But, and here’s the point, it works for her.  Go read her SG-5 series and you’ll see that I’m right on this. 

So do what works for you and get back to work.

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