How Realistic
Frequently I’ll be reading along and come to a part in a book, regardless of genre, and get lost because the scene strikes me as unrealistic. Contrived. Poor writing. Bad craft. I’ve said it all. Of course, real life can be pretty unrealistic. Stuff happens that a writer would get nailed for if the situation were part of a story. One of my new favorite examples happened yesterday morning.
Man attempts to rob post office outside D.C. with submachine gun then flees. Seems innocent enough. Well, not innocent, but you get my point. The facts really went something like this: A dumbass dressed all in black (it was about 80 degrees) tried to rob the closed post office - yes, I said closed and I also said post office, not bank or store or coffee shop - right around the corner from my house at 7:45 a.m. He came into the employee entrance, waved his gun around, asked if anyone had any money and when he was told no - yes, he trusted the victims on this, thank goodness - told the employees they were lucky and left. Crime thwarted, due to lack of money and any brain cells in the offender’s hollow head, our criminal then jumped on his bike - yes, I said bike - with his gun strapped to his side and escaped down a busy street. You know, the street with all the traffic sitting at a dead stop trying to get into D.C. during rush hour.
Whuh? I’m not in any rush to put this sequence in my romantic suspense story because no one would believe it and my cp would kick my butt for coming up with something so stupid. It’s true this guy did get away so he might be smarter than I think. I, however, am now afraid of stamps and men on bikes.
April 21st, 2005 at 1:51 pm
An excellent illustration of how fiction needs structure while real life is just a big old goobery mess of randomness. But wouldn’t it be interesting to come up with a story for why this guy did what he did? I mean, a bike? A post office? A sub-machine gun? WTF? Where did he come up with the idea? Why did he turn to robbing? Is this his first job, therefore explaining the massive cock-up? Was it just a dare or a prank?
April 21st, 2005 at 2:26 pm
No prank. The guy went to the next town over, waited until that post office actually opened - again, I say post office not bank or any other place with money - and then tried to rob that one as well.
My greatest fear is that this person is a neighbor. Actually, I initially wondered if it was hubby trying to retrieve a damning piece of mail but have since ruled that out since he has no idea where we keep the stamps.
April 21st, 2005 at 3:27 pm
What’s WITH this guy and post offices? Sheesh.
April 21st, 2005 at 5:16 pm
At this point HelenKay, I’m less worried about what you’re throwing in your fiction and more concerned about what kind of neighborhood you live in.
Not knowing where the stamps are must be a Y chromosome thing. Our stamps have been in the same location for ten years, but I never fail to hear a, “yeah, do you know where the stamps are?” at letter mailing time.
April 21st, 2005 at 8:57 pm
Yeah, next time the bozos who run my County try to raise my real estate taxes, I plan to bring up this little bit of criminal activity.
And, I’ve found the “Y” chromosome can hinder the ability to find stamps, keys, clothing, the living room….and a host of other items.