I Like Advice - Just Wish I Understood It
I found an article, 20 Steps To Writing Great Love Scenes - Part One by Karen Weisner. I don’t know Karen Weisner but her bio says she’s published with Hard Shell Word Factory. Fine with me.
She raises quite a few points - 20 to be exact - but one struck me as a bit odd. She talks about the need for an "exaggerated awareness" in romance novels. She says, "In romantic fiction, an exaggerated awareness between the hero and heroine is so crucial, it can’t be overstated….every single look, touch, sense is made larger than life between them." Further, "When he looks at her, a profound feeling comes over the characters and the reader. The emotional impact needs to be conveyed through their every encounter."
Is this true? I really have no idea what this means. Seems you’d sacrifice realism and believability and risk your conflict by making every phone call and cough part of the overall emotional awareness between the parties. Maybe sometimes it’s just a sexual awareness or, maybe, something else is happening that isn’t necessarily emotional or sexual at all. I don’t know. But, I’d be afraid this idea might lead to everything feeling overblown and overdone.
One of her other points was to suggest how you get in the mood when writing a love scene. Her suggestion, "Set the scene in your own living room if it helps you. Take note of things in their natural form. Scents, sights, tastes, sounds, textures. Indulge in pleasure. Light scented candles, peel an orange, play romantic and/or sexy music, put silk or lace or velvet against your own skin."
I admit, I don’t do this. Maybe others do. My characters are characters, not me. There likely are pieces of me or others in there, but I don’t act out the book as I write it or set a sexy mood to write.
Every day I become more and more convinced I’m doing this the wrong way.
April 25th, 2005 at 10:16 am
I don’t think there is any one particular way to do it. IMO writing is as individual as fingerprints. Maybe the love scenes is the major component of her work, I dunno, but I don’t do it like she describes either. I write a love scene like any other scene, visualizing it in my head. How it comes out depends on how the characters are, not how I am.
April 25th, 2005 at 10:32 am
The idea of deliberately going after an “exaggerated awareness” doesn’t appeal to me either. For one thing, I think putting that into every cough and phone call, as you said, would lead to the reader to thinking, “Will you just do it and get it over with?”
Having said that, are there points where things should get very intense? Yes — but for me, it always comes from what the characters. If it doesn’t, it feels like I’m doing the “Tab A in Slot B” thing. As for where I’ve written some of my hotest scenes — sneaking them in at my desk at work.
April 25th, 2005 at 10:47 am
The exaggerated awareness thing doesn’t ring any bells for me. It’s a pretty vague concept. It’s important that the dialogue and narrative move the romantic arc along, but sledgehammering’s not the most subtle technique in the writer’s toolbox.
As for lighting candles and rubbing velvet on my own skin, I think the only velvet thing in my house is the Christmas tree skirt, and the glitter reindeer would be abrasive as hell. And even thought I’m 32 years old, there’s still something just fundamentally wrong with writing sex scenes with Santa sitting on my shoulder.
I write my love scenes in jeans and sneakers at my desk, under the glare of a halogen desk lamp, with Nick Jr as my soundtrack, and fighting children running amok amidst the cats.
If I had to wait until I could set a romantic mood to write romantic scenes I’d be SOL.
But everybody does it differently. With the exception of periwinkle crayons, there really is no ‘wrong way’. (And even that only applies to the final draft. *g*)
April 25th, 2005 at 12:02 pm
Hmmm. Well, I certainly think awareness between the hero and heroine is a good thing in a romance, not sure about the exaggerated part. I don’t know if she’s talking about psychic distance? Where you want deep pov in emotional scenes but not necessarily throughout the book.
As for mood. All I ever want is a room to myself, and sometimes I can’t get that.
April 25th, 2005 at 12:43 pm
It’s just like acting, HelenKay. Some actors use “method acting” and some don’t. There’s no one way of writing that works for everyone. Odds are you aren’t doing it the wrong way… you’re just doing it your way:-).
April 25th, 2005 at 2:31 pm
I’m all for acting but I’m thinking if I start stripping down to my skivvies and dancing around the living room half naked every time I try to write a sex scene, hubby might like it at first but eventually he’d tell me to move out of the way because I’m blocking his view of the baseball game. Or, he’d laugh his ass off. One of those two.
April 25th, 2005 at 3:04 pm
I agree, HelenKay. I also agree with Jorie… all I really need to write a sex scene is to get the kids out of my office so I don’t have to worry about them coming in, peering over my shoulder, and saying, “What does THAT word mean, Mommy?”
April 25th, 2005 at 3:18 pm
Exaggerated awareness? What were we just saying about purple prose?
April 27th, 2005 at 3:46 am
If I’m having a hard time with a love/sex scene I take a nap. *ggg* I just try to get my mind into that half asleep phase whrre I don’t think, I just write. That said, I go with what the characters want. I don’t strive for exagerated awareness, but sometiems it happens, because it’s a particularly intense part of the story.
I think the best advice for writing a good love scene is to listen to the characters, even though that is hard at times.
April 28th, 2005 at 10:23 am
HelenKay - I think the point Karen is trying to get across is one for beginners, who often don’t understand that in a romance, each scene has to forward the romantic story in some way. I’ve seen other authors make the same point, only they word it differently.
As for writing love scenes, well, I don’t do it the way Karen suggests. But there are people out there who do. I’m pretty sure she says to find what works for you and do it that way.
Finally, there is no WRONG way!!! We all have our own method for writing. I used to get caught up in doing things only “one way”, but have since learned to use how-to books and other craft advice by taking from it what resonates with me and ignoring the rest
April 28th, 2005 at 2:22 pm
Teresa - Is that what it means? I agree with the idea of every scene needing to move the story forward and have a purpose. That’s true for all of us, beginner or not. The “exaggerated awareness” phrase is what I didn’t get. I really don’t understand the phrase and was trying to figure out what she meant because I view the phrase as being something bad and she says it’s good.
And, you’re absolutely right about the advice thing. A person could go mad trying to follow all the helpful hints out there.
April 29th, 2005 at 8:05 am
Well, that’s how _I_ interpreted the phrase *g*. Who knows if I’m right? I agree with you, though, it can lead to confusion.
May 1st, 2005 at 12:32 am
I’m going to say something obvious, but then again, I’ve read the author in question: consider the source. She writes a particular way (as does Rebecca Brandewyne). What works for her may not be right (or write) for you. Sure fiction focuses on the big moments, but (in my never humble) opinion, if every touch thrills and the goal is to keep building tension, then you have a lot of spontaneous combustion going on. And nobody loves ashes.
May 2nd, 2005 at 11:05 am
I agree that too much combustion sounds like a bad idea and kind of trite. I don’t know this writer so I can’t speak for her work but I guess it works for her. I have yet to figure out what works for me but I’m working on it.