HelenKay Dimon

Newsweek has a full-page regular feature called My Turn. In My Turn, people write in about whatever they want to write about. This week’s feature is Mort’s Library Speaks Volumes About Him by Alexis Deutsch-Adler. The story is written by a woman who met her then-future father-in-law Mort when he was 82 years old and in the grip of dementia. When Mort died years later, Alexis helped to clean out his house and found boxes of books. Her reaction was pretty interesting – or it was to me:

Because of the boxes of books on the floor, I was hopeful I might be able to finally fill in some of these gaps and, at the very least, formulate some questions for the family. Mort’s collection was modest, but the works were rich. With “Antonio Stradivari: His Life and His Work,” I imagined him learning about violin varnishes… Yehudi Menuhin’s “Unfinished Journey” might also have inspired him; Mort would have related to this great musician’s Jewish roots, and Menuhin’s talent might have frustrated, if not humbled, him.

Was it Pearl S. Buck’s 1931 masterpiece “The Good Earth,” about the epic environment of China and a neglected people, that shaped Mort’s social platform? And did he learn gratitude from Henry Fielding’s “Tom Jones,” whose spirited protagonist lived high in adventure but never forgot to thank those who had been charitable along the way?

On a romantic note, I want to believe that Mort’s heart melted when he read about Henry James’ heroine Isabel Archer, the bold American orphan who nearly doomed her future by falling in with the wrong crowd…

And here’s the best part:

I believe that, given my husband’s nature, Mort cast an aura of humanistic understanding onto his son. I want to believe that books and reading were partly responsible for this honorable way of being. I want to believe that books can bring out the best in any of us. We can deepen our understanding of each other from the stories immortalized by good writers. And we can deepen our understanding of each other by the books that have been left behind.

So, what would someone find in my house? My strange love of Russian literature. My husband’s respect for non-fiction, including books about salt, influenza and the number 13 (they are all much more interesting than you might think). A collection of great literature and literary fiction. Tons of mysteries from some early ones, like Wilkie Collins’ Woman in White and Moonstone, to more contemporary suspense reads. A shocking – shocking as in fills two rooms of my house – number of romance and chick lit novels. The books that carried me through the Bar exam – the works of Michael Connelly, Jonathan Kellerman and Walter Mosley. A few more John Grisham and James Patterson books than I want to admit to owning. An ever-growing obsession with true crime novels. Some beloved writers I’ve collected over the years and can’t give up – Stephen Spender, Michael Chabon and Kazuo Ishiguro. In other words, a huge collection chosen and kept by two people who love and appreciate books.

Makes me wonder what I’d find in other people’s houses…

It’s never too early to start that holiday shopping. Right after you purchase 2 (or 40) copies of When Good Things Happen To Bad Boys - yeah, my name isn’t on B&N for some reason, but I swear my novella is in the book and my name is on the cover – pick up The Worst Noel: Hellish Holiday Tales.

Does the thought of mistletoe give you hives?
Does the sound of jingling bells instill fear in your heart?
Do you hide under the covers from the day after Thanksgiving till New Year’s Day?
And even if you love Christmas, do the hyperconsumerism, overindulgence, and tinsel-covered everything make you crazy?

If you said yes to any of these questions, this is the book for you. You are not alone. Everyone has a Christmas-nightmare story to tell. Some of the best writers around have gone through some of the worst Christmases ever. Their tales of holly-draped horror are gathered here for your amusement, from NEAL POLLACK’s Christmas-ham disaster to the accidental Santahood of JONI RODGERS to BINNIE KIRSHENBAUM’s receiving what may be the worst gift ever given. And Stanley Bing gives us a peek at the lonely guy’s Xmas feast. All this, plus many more recollections of Worst Noels past.

So pour yourself a glass of eggnog, chisel off a piece of rock-hard fruitcake, and curl up in the big comfy chair by the fireplace where the stockings have been hung with such care — and settle in to read The Worst Noel.

Just fills you with the spirit, doesn’t it?

You have to love Maureen Dowd. She took shots at the Clinton White House during the Lewinsky scandal. She appears to despise the Bush White House. Now, she’s written a book called Are Men Necessary? I guess the answer depends on who is asking the question…

CNN did a story on the ruckus the book is causing. My favorite letter to the editor about the book is this:

“Will someone please marry Maureen Dowd?” asked one letter writer. “She has managed to spin her inability to find a suitable mate into a national crisis.”

Not very nice. Of course, Dowd’s views on politics and gender aren’t sweet either:

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again,” she began. “Men are simply not biologically suited to hold higher office. The Bush administration has proved that once and for all,” she continued, before firing darts at former Federal Emergency Management Agency Director Michael Brown, President Bush and the “Mean Girls cabal headed by Dick Cheney, Rummy and the Rummy aide Douglas Feith.”

Or, this one…

“There’s a body of evidence now that the Y chromosome is rotting at such a fast rate that it will go out of business in about 100,000 years,” she said on “American Morning.”

This is not exactly good news for romance heroes. But, if men really are dissolving (de-evolving maybe?) at such a fast rate, think how much better fictional men will look. My favorite part of the entire story is the book’s cover. It’s very Nancy Drew and the Case Of The Watchtower looking.

The publisher of Canongate Books came up with an idea that’s being called THE Literary Event of 2005 – at least, that’s what I keep reading. Esteemed literary writers will take classic myths and refashion and recast them. An interesting idea and a huge global undertaking. The series is being launched simultaneously by 31 international publishers. One magazine (I think it was that literary forerunner Elle) described this venture as an attempt to “breathe bright golden light into the world’s classic tales.”

You can read about this project on Canongate’s website or in any magazine since it’s in every damn one. Or, if the classics don’t sound that compelling, you can try the romance version with Donna Kauffman’s refashioning and recasting of fairy tales, such as Sleeping With Beauty. You pick.

I don’t read inspirational romance. Yeah, I could lie but,really, what would be the point. It just doesn’t interest me. Many others feel differently. In good news for the subgenre, it did get a public boost over the weekend. People highlighted Remember Me by Deborah Bedford. People described her as: “A star in the burgeoning Chirstian Fiction genre, Bedford blends religion and romance in her enjoyable 12th novel.” The book got 3 stars (out of 4). Frank McCourt’s newest (Teacher Man) only got 3 1/2 and the reviewer really liked that one, so 3 ain’t bad.

For those who are interested, Publishers Weekly describes this as:

In a novel that’s far subtler than run-of-the-mill Christian fiction, bestselling author Bedford (If I Had You) introduces us to Sam Tibbits, a beautifully drawn bachelor pastor who is sure to give Mitford’s Father Tim a run for his money. As a boy in the late 1960s, Sam summered with his family at Piddock Beach in the Pacific Northwest. There, he became good friends-actually, more than friends-with a girl named Aubrey. They corresponded during the fall and winter and always looked forward to seeing each other again when summer rolled around. But during college, Sam arrived at Piddock Beach to find that Aubrey and her family had up and moved, leaving no forwarding address.

Aspiring authors and newbie published authors often ask: Do I need an agent? This is one of those personal questions – the type you need to answer for yourself. Only you know your needs, your time commitments, where you want your career to go, the type of books you write and other considerations. Weigh those against what the publishers demand and your knowledge of contracts, then decide what you need.

I looked for an agent because I wanted to write and let someone else shoulder the business end. I’m too much of a control freak to turn over all responsiibility. I don’t think that’s a great idea anway. But, the idea of sharing the burden sounded good. To be honest, I also have an almost debilitating fear of being dropped by my publisher and wanted an agent on my side in the event that ever happened. Enter Ethan…

The rightness of the decision hit me this week. We’re tying up contract loose ends. The “we” is Ethan. He is hunting down the paperwork. He is negotiating. He will be the one to call the publisher when the inevitable happens – the agreed-upon changes fail to make it into the final contract version. So, he handles the crappy part and I can write… and, hopefully, make my March 1st deadline.

For a realistic view on agents, go visit Diana’s site. She’s got it right in my view.

I survived four years of undergrad, three years of law school and some master’s degree classes. I like to think of myself as intelligent – really, don’t we all. Then, the copyedits for my April ‘06 novella release landed on my doorstep. It’s like being in kindergarten….in a foreign country.

I have come face-to-face with my utter lack of knowledge in this area. I know how to query. Can write a synposis, even though I do everything in my power to never do so. Can now put together something proposal-like for my editor and agent to review for future sales. This copy edit thing? Yeah, I somehow missed the memo on what to do with this. The good news is that there aren’t many changes. Most relate to my inability to properly use a comma. I will go hunt down one of those Dummies guides or visit 50 websites on the subject.

Makes me wonder how many more “gee, I wonder what the hell I’m supposed to do with that” moments I’ll have between now and my first elease date.

I usually don’t look to Newsweek for book information…then the November 14th issue was delivered to my door. Not only is there a quarter page blurb on books, there’s a quarter page blurb on paranormal romance. Right there – in the Tip Sheet section – is a straightforward story on the popularity of paranormal romance. It’s not nasty or condescending. Kind of a nice change, if you ask me.

The beginning of the story goes like this:

Imagine a romance novel in which every major character dies – and that’s a happy ending. Such are the twists and turns of paranormal romance – “one ofthe strongest trends of the last two years,” says Tommy Dreiling, a buyer for Barnes and Noble.

The short article suggests that readers new to the genre try Dark Prince by Christine Freehan, Night’s Kiss by Amada Ashley or “for an edgier tale” Tiger Eye by Marjorie Liu. It also talks about Single White Vampire by Lindsay Sands and A Taste of Crimson.

Not a bad plug. Not my favorite subgenre, but it’s good to see positive press.

Tina Engler wrote a book. She quickly found out that there wasn’t a market for her book. It was too sexy. Too something. So, Tina Engler started her own publishing company.

Tina Engler is Jaid Black. The publishing company is Ellora’s Cave. You may not like the books, but you have to admire the woman’s business sense. There’s an article about Engler in the Akron Beacon Journal. It tells the story of her transition from welfare mom to entrepreneur. And, yeah, the journalist manages to be condescending:

Tina Engler was a welfare mom who plugged away writing each night while her children slept. She now oversees a multi-million-dollar business growing so fast it could make one’s milky white breast heave at the bodice.

Engler, who has flown in from her Tampa home by way of a business meeting in Chicago, arrives a few minutes late, wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. The apple-cheeked “Queen of Steam” has long, tightly permed hair, a sensible purse and a fleshy body far different from the exaggerated hourglass figures melting on the covers of her publishing empire

But the numbers do demand attention:

The business quickly escalated into Jasmine-Jade Enterprises, named for Engler’s two daughters, now 15 and 8. Engler continued writing and added other authors to Ellora’s Cave. She expanded into print titles. In 2003, her mother, Patty Marks, became the company’s chief executive officer. That year, the company posted $1.2 million in sales. In 2004, it reached $3 million in sales, and is on pace to double that figure this year.

The company produces a breathtaking number of titles: five or six e-books a week and about 125 print titles a month.

As the public face of the company, Engler tells the Ellora’s Cave story at industry conferences and book signings. Last summer, she was a guest on Montel Williams’ show, and last week she addressed a group of 85 Borders Books and Music store managers.

Borders took a chance on Engler in 2004, picking up her titles. They expected $100,000 in sales, but ended up topping $2 million in the first eight months.

Romantica, erotica – whatever you want to call it – Engler must be doing something right.

When I hear editors speak they all say some variation of the same theme: “I’m looking for a fresh voice.” Sometimes, this pronouncement gets downright silly. I’ve heard some very strange exchanges between aspiring authors and editors. Questions that make me laugh because I’m sure the person asking is kidding…right up until the point where the editor answers as if there is a real question pending, such as:

writer: So, I have this book about a frog. He never turns unto a human, but he and the human heroine overcome all odds to find love.
editor: Really, I’m just looking for a fresh voice.

writer: My single title is only 60 pages long. Is that going to be a problem?
editor: Well, it’s a bit short since we normally publish single titles at 360 to 400 pages, but I never say never. If I find a fresh voice, I can probably make it work.

editor: Is your book contemporary or historical?
writer: I’m not sure.
editor: Well, that’s hard to imagine, but it’s all in the voice and execution.

That last one is real. The other two are embellished – but not much.

The voice discussion makes my head spin. It’s one of those things writers talk about and non-writers never notice. It’s also one of those things I take for granted. Many times I don’t like the plot of a book, but I like the author’s voice. The opposite also happens. But, it’s rare for me to think a book lacks a voice. It doesn’t really seem possible. Then…

I now have read the first 60 pages of a book 3 times. The problem isn’t the cute cover or fresh plot premise. It’s the author’s voice. There isn’t one. Or, if there is, it’s flat and boring. It’s not endearing. Not funny or charming. Not compelling or interesting. There’s nothing that lifts what should be a smart idea out of the mind-numbing dullness. There’s nothing special going on. Since the book is written in first person and from the heroine’s POV, this is a huge problem. See, I don’t care what she says or what happens to her. The story is clicking along and I can’t get invested. Not even a little bit.

Now, I’ll still laugh when I hear a bizarre book/voice exchange between a writer and editor. Sure, but at least I will have a greater sense of what the editor is trying to say.