HelenKay Dimon

There’s been a significant amount of crossfire in the blogosphere lately regarding Authors Behaving Badly and Readers Behaving Badly. On a positive note, none of it appears to be aimed at me. MaryJanice Davidson unloaded on this topic this week. Can’t say I blame her. Seems to me if a reader can take a nasty shot at MJD, then MJD can return fire. And, really, name calling? Are you kidding me? As much as I enjoy re-living junior high (that’s sarcasm, in case you’re not clear) there has to be a point at which the hair-pulling on the playground stuff stops.

As a sidenote, I’ve met MJD. Heard her speak. She’s very funny, self-deprecating, open and charming. A tad crazy…uh, yeah. She’d be the first to tell you that. Find me an author who doesn’t dance on the crazy line. There’s a reason the characteristics of some mental health disorders sound eerily familiar to writers.

In an effort to show that romance writers are not the only ones out there struggling with the why-can’t we-all-get-along concept, I offer you this smackdown… First, John Friedman of Market Watch wrote an article on L.A Weekly columnist Nikke Finke. Friedman contacted the folks at Gawker for a quote. The Gawker folks said:

“I think what makes Nikki so compelling is that she’s clearly at least a bit crazy — and you can never quite figure out if it’s good crazy or bad crazy. She’s a great reporter and a fun writer, and God knows I wouldn’t want to be on her bad side.”

Ms. Finke was not amused. She sent some emails to Gawker complaining about the quote. Gawker brings the email exchange to you in what amounts to Exhibit A of Ms. Finke’s touch of crazy. My favorite part went like this:

From: Nikki Finke
To: Jesse Oxfeld
Sent: Wednesday, June 28, 2006 12:19 PM
Subject: Re: You dare call me “crazy”? You’ve never even met me.

How dare you say something slanderous like that when you don’t even know me. Tell me, given all my hard-nosed and accurate reporting, just when and how did you decide I was crazy? We not only have never met, we’ve never had a single phone conversation. What gives you the right to make such a diagnosis (and how Friedman could have printed it is beyond me.) Why then did you send me 20 emails trying to get together with a crazy person in LA?

From: Jesse Oxfeld
To: Nikki Finke
Sent: Wednesday, June 28, 2006 12:24 PM
Subject: Re: You dare call me “crazy”? You’ve never even met me.

are you serious? i wasn’t making a clinical diagnosis. that was supposed to be — and was clearly taken by jon as — a playful, complimentary quote. all interesting people are a little bit crazy, and certainly all reporters are. i meant it only as a compliment, and i’m sorry if you feel otherwise.

You can almost feel the love…

Romantic Times is re-thinking its review system. According to the monthly newsletter, things are about to change. Specifically, we should now know from the review why one book gets a 3 versus a 4. The publisher says this:

…the review will lead off with the “opinion paragraph” in larger, bold-faced type followed, in the next paragraph, by the word Summary: and then the summary of the book. This is a way for you to skim through all the reviews to see what the reviewer thought of the book without having to find the opinion within the review. Also we are working hard with our reviewers to make sure there are no more “empty” phrases in the opinion. If it is mesmerizing, the reviewer will have to qualify “why” in the opinion. Also the opinion paragraph will qualify the star rating in the same way. If a book gets a 2 star, the reviewer will state what did not work for her. Likewise if it gets a 4 1/2 TOP PICK the reviewer will have to pinpoint for the readers what was so great about the book.

Also, the sensuality ratings are changing. They will now consist of three options instead of the previous overlapping five:

SCORCHER — Borders on erotic. Very graphic sex.
HOT — Most romance novels fall into this category. Conventional lovemaking. Explicit sex.
MILD — May or may not include lovemaking. No explicit sex

There’s more info on the RT Blog if you want to check it out.

As for me, I’m liking the proposed changes. The Star system RT uses to rate books works well if there’s some connection between the comments on the book in the review and the actual rating a book gets. Frankly, I tend to ignore the rating and see what the comments are on the book. As an example, the review I posted on Tuesday for Viva Las Bad Boys! is, in my view, a great review. Nothing negative. All positive. The review for when Good Things Happen To Bad Boys also was lovely. Good Things got a 4. Viva got a 3. Nothing in the respective reviews would explain the difference. In fact, I’d say the Viva review was much more positive. It would be nice to understand why one book got one rating and the other got another since the reviewer for both is the same.

For those wondering about the rating system, it goes like this:

4 1/2 Gold: Phenomenal. In a class by itself.
4 1/2: Fantastic. A keeper.
4: Compelling. A page-turner.
3: Enjoyable. A pleasant read.
2: Problematic. May struggle to finish.
1: Severely Flawed. Pass on this on.

We’ll see what happens…

A brief diversion from my life to ask one thing of the good people of the DC Metro area: consider telecommuting. Really, not only should some of you park your minivans - you should sell the damn things.

Even without the hideous weather we currently are experiencing, driving around this area is difficult. I sympathize. In general, rush hour lasts all day. Even though it’s counterintuitive, metro and trains shut down whenever one would most want to take the metro or a train - yes, that would be when bad weather comes. Whatever genius decided the Beltway and I-95 could play nice together and share the same space needs a good hard smack. That anyone can live in the Springfield, Virginia area and drive anywhere without being overtaken by road rage is nothing short of a miracle. I get all that. Again, I feel your pain. Some days my 7 mile drive home from work takes an hour. A drive, I would add, that runs opposite of rush hour traffic. I can’t even discuss the American Legion Bridge without wanting to throw someone off of it. And the Booz Allen Golf Tournament …well, that needs to move to a location away from River Road before I kill someone. I’m thinking Kentucky might be far enough not to interrupt my commute.

But - and here is my point - there is no justification for some of the ridiculous driving going on out there this week. Yes, a mudslide on the Beltway is not a regular occurrence. A Safeway freezer truck getting into an accident and scattering frozen Butterballs in every direction thereby shutting down both sides of the Beltway? We’ve all seen that. But, yes, mud is new. Water shutting down Rock Creek Parkway and Constitution Avenue and every other major road spilling into the downtown area, evacuations at the IRS due to flooding and thundering downpours that destroy roads, wildlife, the banks of the Potomac, sewage systems and my high speed internet service - all annoying but tolerable. The news last night was a joy fest of flooding, fires, tornadoes and tropical storm warnings. Really, who doesn’t love summer in DC? Hell, for a few hours on Sunday I didn’t have any water in the house thanks to a nearby water main break. This was during the same time we got 7 inches of rain in 2 hours. Life is unfair like that sometimes.

But the horrific driving thing can’t be ignored. It must stop. It is bad enough what happens around here when it snows. Most drivers - and by this I mean all but the 18 people in the Metro area who can actually drive - do one of three things when snow begins to fall around here: (1) drive 110 miles per hour because this is the only time the Beltway is clear enough to drag race - you’re a stupid idiot; (2) drive 15 miles per hour in the passing lane and otherwise make me want to drive my gas guzzling, socially unacceptable SUV over their socially conscious Prius; or (3) abandon cars on the interstate or on a bridge leading to/from DC which should result, in my view, in an automatic driving license suspension and, possibly, televised public stonings.

While it rarely snows here in July, rain has the power to bring out an equally scary driving crowd. With a little bit of rain we get the drivers going 4 miles per hour on the Beltway. Honestly, there is never a reason to drive this slow. Rain that isn’t strong enough to cause my automatic windshield wipers to turn on - the same wipers that flip on when a gnat smashes against my front window - does not require anyone to drive with the emergency brake on. I hate you people - stop driving. Rain like that we’ve experienced since Sunday - the gather the animals and head for the Ark type of rain - does require caution. So, why anyone thinks driving 110 miles per hour in this slop, when you can’t even see the front of the car, is a good thing is beyond me. Move to another state. And, for those people who drive Dodge Darts or one of those Gremlin things or whatever else is low to the ground - stop trying to drive through 20 foot water puddles in the middle of the road. Here’s a hint: don’t try to drive through standing water that is higher than your car. This should be common sense but obviously not.

More rain coming tomorrow…

The review for Viva Las Bad Boys! is up at Romantic Times. The book is an August 2006 release (that means July 25th), but here’s an early look:

When the power goes out at Berkley Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, three mismatched couples trapped together find that things are heating up fast.

—Jennifer Madsen

I will admit right from the start that kids in romance/chick lit novels are not my favorite thing. Yes, children are precious and adorable and all. Not arguing their place in society - only in certain books. In general, I just don’t want all that cuteness getting in the way of a story. And, if the romance is on the hotter side, kids are the last thing I want showing up on the page.

For those who like their chick lit mixed with kids - and that is not all of you, I know, but some do - USA Today looked through the mommy chick lit offerings and picked some favs out of the new and upcoming release pile. They are:

24-Karat Kids by Dr. Judy Goldstein and Sebastian Stuart - The reviewer said: “Take a smart working-class Jewish doctor who truly loves kids and deposit her in a pediatric practice catering to the offspring of the rich, the famous, and, you guessed it, the crazy. 24-Karat has all [The Nanny Diaries] elements: designer togs, evil socialites, Type A dads and boy toys. But Goldstein’s laser-sharp observations on narcissistic parents and the damage they inflict on their kids make this bit o’ fluff special. ” This subject matter might be too close to the realities of my day job. I get enough crazy and entitled folks all day. Don’t need to read about more.

Class Mothers by Katherine Stewart - The reviewer didn’t love this. The following clued me in: “…clichéd and populated by people who are less characters than characterizations.” Maybe so, but I think the cover is worth a look.

Gucci Gucci Coo by Sue Margolis - I can’t figure out if I love or hate this title. Still working on that. The reviewer liked the premise: “Here comes a wickedly prescient novel that seeks to answer the mysterious question: Just how do stars stay slim during and after pregnancy?…Likable characters and a clever concept make this silly confection a guilty pleasure.”

Baby Proof by Emily Giffin - This one is front and center everywhere I go. Reviewer was lukewarm at best: “Baby Proof wants to be one big Sex and the City episode, right down to mentions of Manolos and questions to the reader, like: “Should I have just sucked it up and had a baby to keep the only man I’ve ever truly loved?” Problem is: Proof is missing Sex’s style, depth and characters worth caring about.”

NYT Book World reviewed what it defines as a new breed of chick lit - the grown up version - and did not hate it. Sure, the review takes some shots. That’s not new or original or even interesting. The bottom line is that the book got a thumb’s up. Having the word “literacy” in the title likely helped.

The book: Literacy and Longing in L.A. by Jennifer Kaufman and Karen Mack

The opening paragraph of the review:

Chick lit appears to be in its death throes. At the very least, the form has bred copycats and lost its novelty and sense of humor. More and more of these featherweights have fallen flat, and some of the genre’s exhausted stalwarts have even done the unthinkable: they have grown up.

How the review describes it:

The book’s good-looking, self-deprecating heroine is 35-year-old Dora, who was in fact named for [Eudora] Welty and has a sister, Virginia, named for Woolf. Dora combines her book benders with marathon bubble baths, and she indulges in them when everything else in her life is going haywire. As a character who carries around a nonfiction literary history of Henry James and plans to read it at the hairdresser’s, she surely has the potential to be annoying. But she is hapless and candid enough to be endearing, and the book fetish strongly works in her favor.

Apparently chick lit is dead but the book is good. That’s something.

I spent some time whining this week. This kind of thing happens now and then. Usually coincides with a deadline, or having too much to do at work, or a health issue, or the hundred stupid and random things that bombard us all. Last week had a little bit from all of those categories. Suffice to say you should be happy you didn’t live at my house.

In the midst of my pity party I saw this book: Strange Piece of Paradise by Terri Jentz. The Publisher describes it like this:

In the summer of 1977, Terri Jentz and her Yale roommate, Shayna Weiss, make a cross-country bike trip. They pitch a tent in the desert of central Oregon. As they are sleeping, a man in a pickup truck deliberately runs over the tent. He then attacks them with an ax. The horrific crime is reported in newspapers across the country. No one is ever arrested. Both women survive, but Shayna suffers from amnesia, while Terri is left alone with memories of the attack. Their friendship is shattered.

Fifteen years later, Terri returns to the small town where she was nearly murdered, on the first of many visits she will make “to solve the crime that would solve me.” And she makes an extraordinary discovery: the violence of that night is as present for the community as it is for her. Slowly, her extensive interviews with the townspeople yield a terrifying revelation: many say they know who did it, and he is living freely in their midst. Terri then sets out to discover the truth about the crime and its aftermath, and to come to terms with the wounds that broke her life into a before and an after. Ultimately she finds herself face-to-face with the alleged axman.

Powerful, eloquent, and paced like the most riveting of thrillers, Strange Piece of Paradise is the electrifying account of Terri’s investigation into the mystery of her near murder. A startling profile of a psychopath, a sweeping reflection on violence and the myth of American individualism, and a moving record of a brave inner journey from violence to hope, this searing, unforgettable work is certain to be one of the most talked about books of the year.

Kind of put my whining in perspective. Yeah, everything is fine over here.

The good folks at The Seattle Post-Intelligencer have done the hard work for us. They culled through the piles and piles of summer book releases and found the Beach Bag Books. See if these scream “beach” to you.

Lost Hearts in Italy by Andrea Lee. The quote from the paper most guaranteed to earn a heavy sigh is this: “Lee brings far better literary credentials to this undertaking than the usual…” Ummm, okay.

But Enough About Me by Jancee Dunn. Library Journal says: “This memoir of a Jersey girl-turned-hip Manhattan writer sparkles with wry humor, touching honesty, and celebrity insight.” The celebrity part doesn’t do much for me - okay, it does nothing for me - but I do love the title. It’s one of those phrases I say ten times a day… right before I launch into another story about me.

Strangers’ Gate by Tom Casey. The publisher describes it this way: “A novel of brutal violence, blood vengeance and stunning sensuality, Stranger’s Gate pays homage to such classics as James M. Cain’s Double Indemnity, Robert Stone’s Dog Soldiers and Elmore Leonard’s Glitz.” That sounds awesome. How could I not want to read that one?

Who says JK Rowling is the one author making money targeting young adults? After reading these deals I only have one question: anyone have a clever idea for a children’s book?

For this one, know that the term “significant deal” translates into an advance in the $251,000 - $499,000 range:

CHILDREN’S: YOUNG ADULT
NYT bestselling author of the Echo Falls Mystery series Peter Abrahams’s TROPHY KID, asking How far will an overachieving teenager go to solve the disappearance of his ex-girlfriend?, to Laura Geringer at Laura Geringer Books, in a significant deal, in a four-book deal, by Molly Friedrich at Friedrich Agency (World).

My eyes bugged a bit on this one:

CHILDREN’S: YOUNG ADULT
Lily Archer’s THE POISON APPLES, about three teenaged girls who battle the Evilest Stepmothers in the Cosmos, to Jean Feiwelat Feiwel and Friends, for six figures, on an exclusive submission, for publication in fall 2007, by Melissa Flashman at Trident Media Group.

And, what exactly is Jean Feiwelat Feiwel and Friends? Well, Jean Feiwel was Editor-in-chief and publisher of Scholastic Books and had a hand in the Goosebumps and Baby-Sitters Club books. She left at the end of last year and is now working on her own imprint. Yeah, I googled her.

I’m not here today. I’m chatting and giving away books (other people’s books) on Access Romance’s All A-Blog.

Go on over.

Go on…