THE Question
I’m thinking every author has a question she hears over and over. The one that stumps her or makes her angry or makes her sigh or whatever. Believe it or not, I have a pretty high tolerance for writing and author-related questions others find silly.
See, I have a neighbor who is a painter. Her work is amazing. I am sure I asked her something like, where do you get your ideas from…yeah, I know. But to me, painting is not intuitive. I really did want to know how she decides what to paint when she’s sitting there staring at an empty canvas. It is amazing to me that she can start from nothing and end up with something beautiful and thought-provoking. So, the “where do your plot ideas come from” question never throws me off. I understand why non-writers ask that.
But I do have one of those questions. I don’t remember getting it much when I lived in Maryland. I get it all the time now that we’re in California. It goes like this: “where can I buy your books?” Whuh? The simple answer is that they are in any and every bookstore except specialty bookstores that don’t handle romance fiction. Isn’t that kind of obvious? You buy books in bookstores not at pet stores.
I think what people are really asking with the question is this: “are you an author as in you write stuff down, print it out on your laser printer then sell it at swap meets?” In other words, are you really published or do you just say you are. Rather than risk insulting anyone, I will simply say this is my question. This is the one that puts me on the defensive and makes me sigh. I try not to show it, but it is the one guaranteed to make me nutty.
May 1st, 2007 at 12:42 pm
I’ve gotten this one a lot, too (usually at Starbucks, when people ask me why I’m always there … most assume I’m a student because there’s a community college just up the road) — and when I say at Amazon or any bookstore, the response is like: *blink blink* Like they had really expected me to say from my mother’s attic or the porn shop across the street.
May 1st, 2007 at 4:43 pm
My personal fave was when I saw a friend at the store, just before my first book came out and she apologized that she wouldn’t be able to make it to the booksigning - which was at a bookstore, as in Barnes & Noble, or the party at my house afterward. In parting, she said, “Oh, be sure and save a book for me!” Like, was I supposed to tell B&N to save a book? Did she think I’d buy a book from the store and save it for her?Or did she assume I had a box of them in the back of the SUV, to be pulled out and signed on street corners? *shrugs*
I also loved it when my sister-in-law, quite the frugal woman (read: tighter than the bark on a tree), asked when they could expect a copy of my second book, because they were all dying to read it - her, her sister, her mother, her bridge club and the neighbor down the street. I said, ‘Gee, there’s this thing called a bookstore, and you could actually buy a copy, for a whole, whopping $4.99. If everybody chips in a quarter, you’re there!” (note - I’m not ordinarily this blunt, or rude.)
Of late, however, the one that makes me cringe is, “So, when’s your next book coming out?”
I vascillate between lying, crying and telling the truth, which is - As soon as I sell one.
May 1st, 2007 at 7:23 pm
I dont understand how some people can be so stupid. Where else would you buy a book or sign a book? It takes all kinds I guess.
May 2nd, 2007 at 3:07 am
I admit I laughed when I read the question. Come on people - think about it!
Btw, HelenKay, when’s your next book coming out? Like June 26th? That’s forever away!
May 2nd, 2007 at 3:36 am
I guess not every one has common sense. If they did some of us wouldn’t want to pull our hair out at times. :0)
May 2nd, 2007 at 5:57 am
I do think it’s a method of finding out if your books are published or not. I think people’s default setting for “I’m an author” is “If I haven’t heard of you, it means you aren’t published.” I get a lot of people asking who publishes my books, and they always look shocked when I say Random House.
Many years ago, I was writing for a newspaper, and in an article I called a bunch of romance authors “NYT bestsellers” and my editor, who should have known better, said they couldn’t possibly be NYT bestsellers because he’d never heard of them. He refused to let me put that word in my article!
I always think of that scene from Notting HIll, where the friend says to Julia Roberts, “Oh, acting, such a hard profession. Never make any money at it. What kind of money do you make?” and she says, “I made 20 million on my last film.”
May 2nd, 2007 at 6:01 am
I’m not surprised. Even though it is an irritating question, I think it is a legitimate one. There are a lot of POD publishers, small epublishers, and a lot of publisher not really “legitimate.” It can be very confusing. Our local paper often highlights local “authors” in the Sunday paper. You would think this county has the most authors in the U.S. until you read who their publisher is–a controversial vanity publisher. Recently the paper still highlights authors, but leaves out the publisher name.
May 2nd, 2007 at 7:19 am
Ye gods. I swear 95% of the population is just plain stupid.
May 2nd, 2007 at 7:54 am
I do think this question comes out of the fact that while people read and see books and all that, they view authors as only being James Patterson or John Grisham types. Most people won’t meet them in person. So, when they meet the rest of us who are not on the Grisham level (not even freaking close), they’re skeptical and, like Diana said, assume when someone says they’re published they really mean they wish they were published. After all, isn’t something like 70% of the population trying to (or wishing they could) be published?
Stacy - June 26th is the release date for YOUR MOUTH DRIVES ME CRAZY. I’m really excited since this is my first single title. It does seem like forever, but we’re under two months to release so it finally feels like it’s right around the corner.
May 2nd, 2007 at 8:22 am
That’s a real “here’s your sign” question. Duh. Talk about missing the forest for the trees.
May 2nd, 2007 at 11:45 am
It does sound like a dumb question to ask. But maybe they just don’t know what else to say and it’s part of their “small talk”. LOL! But really, with the interent, it’s really not that hard to track down anything now a days. With all the bookstore options online, I wouldn’t have any trouble finding a book that I want to buy.
May 2nd, 2007 at 3:06 pm
That is a stupid question. Just goes to prove Marylanders are much smarter than Californians. LOL
Patty from Maryland
May 2nd, 2007 at 5:45 pm
I think a true devoted book reader would not ask all these stupid questions. If you read, you would know where to buy most type of books. This is probably people who might read a newspaper (maybe) or only the reading they have to do. I am sure everyone in any profession comes across people who do not know what they are talking about. There are alot of people in the world who cannot keep their thoughts to themselves.
May 7th, 2007 at 6:18 am
Okay, gotta admit I have been guilty of this one— when I was unsure of the writer and thought they might be either self-published or available only in e-books. CERTAINLY doesn’t apply to you, HelenKay, but you may recall there was that one author I told you about where you could only get his books online—
Perhaps it’s a diplomatic way of asking if you are in print? Which of course will serve to make you only more nutty— “OF COURSE I’M IN PRINT, YOU DIMWiT!”