HelenKay Dimon

I snuck off to Las Vegas. My hubby had a conference and, well, after falling off a ladder and getting sick I thought I deserved a few days lounging by the pool. Riiiiight. ‘Cause my life’s so tough…(that’s sarcasm, by the way).

Got a book at the airport. It’s written by one of the coolest women on the planet. Her name is Linda Greenlaw. If you saw the movie The Perfect Storm or read the book, you know her. You just may not know you know her. Greenlaw was the female swordboat captain of the Hannah Boden, the sister ship to the Andrea Gayle (the one that went missing during The Perfect Storm). I can’t remember who played Greenlaw in the film, but there was only one female captain, so that was her.

I read Greenlaw’s previous books The Hungry Ocean and The Lobster Chronicles. You can probably tell from the titles what the books were about. This one, Slipknot, is a departure. It’s a fictional murder mystery set in Maine. The price of the book seems high – it’s a very small hardcover and costs $24.95 – but I admire Greenlaw, so I got it. Will let you know what I think.

I’m over at the Brava Blog today. Stop in and say helllo.

You could probably hear me shouting for joy around 3pm PST yesterday. Some of my author copies of YOUR MOUTH DRIVES ME CRAZY arrived. Seeing a box full of my books just makes me gleeful. Out of fear of seeing something hideous, I did not read it (again). But I was tempted.

According to Barnes & Noble, the book is shipping in 2-3 days. That seems odd to me since it’s not due out until June 26th, but who am I to question. Even more fun, the B&N sales rank was #975 when I checked the site this morning. Wahoooo!!!!! Sure, it will bounce up to some really high number this afternoon, but who cares. For now I enjoy the low ranking. Huge thanks to all who bought it and pre-ordered it.

According to USA Today, there are enough chick lit offerings to go around this summer. If you can’t find something you like, you’re not looking hard enough…or so “they” say (whoever “they” are).

Now, read through these. Tell me which one of these, if any, appeals to you:

Falling Out of Fashion by Karen Yampolsky.

Setting: Manhattan world of publishing.
Heroine:Jill fashion magazine editor Jill White
Predicament: Huge media company takes over Jill’s parent company and tries to undermine Jill.

Momzillas by Jill Kargman

Setting: Upper East Side of Manhattan
Heroine: Hannah Allen, wealthy but overwhelmed mom of 2-year-old Violet
Predicament: She’s caught up in the competitive world of high-stakes mothering and its $300 baby dresses and the pressure to get Violet into the right pre-preschool.

Notting Hell by Rachel Johnson

Setting: Notting Hill, posh London neighborhood
Heroine: Mimi, who seems to have it all: perfect husband and perfect children, home on Notting Hill and part-time vanity job
Predicament: Mimi falls hard for new billionaire neighbor.

Remind Me Again Why I Need a Man by Claudia Carroll

Setting: Dublin
Heroine: Amelia Lockwood, a TV producer
Predicament: Desperate for a man and tired of dating, she signs up for a night course called “How To Find a Husband over the age of Thirty Five.”

Shoe Addicts Anonymous by Beth Harbison

Setting: Washington, D.C., area
Heroines: Shopaholics Lorna, Helene, Sandra and Joss
Predicament: Financially strapped Lorna forms Shoe Addicts Anonymous, where members (must be size 7½ medium) swap shoes as well as personal problems. Helene is a bored wife of a politician, Sandra is an agoraphobic phone-sex operator, and Joss is a nanny for the family from hell.

The Sleeping Beauty Proposal by Sarah Strohmeyer

Setting: Boston college scene
Heroine: Genie Michaels, college admissions counselor
Predicament: When her boyfriend, Hugh, proposes on national television, everyone thinks he’s proposing to her, but he’s not.

Queen of Babble in the Big City By Meg Cabot

Setting: Manhattan’s upper-crust hangouts
Heroine: Lizzie Nichols, star of last year’s Queen of Babble, college grad with a degree in History of Fashion
Predicament: Lizzie works in a bridal-gown salon but can’t get Jean Luc to step up and say “I do.”

Slummy Mummy by Fiona Neill

Setting: London
Heroine: Frazzled mum Lucy Sweeney
Predicament: Mother of three is in constant competition with the sexy Yummy Mummies and the hyper-competent Alpha Mums.

Slacker Girl by Alexandra Koslow

Setting: Manhattan investment firm.
Heroine: Jane Cooper, artsy, unambitious, allows law of attraction to fulfill her wish list
Predicament: Cash-flow problems force her to take on a real job.

Someone sent this article around on one of the writing loops I’m on. It was called: My Book Deal Ruined My Life. It’s one of those woe-is-me, self-indulgent, the-life-of-a-writer-is-so-hard articles. Honestly, every single time I see this crap I want to beat someone to death with my pen.

Yes, writing is a solitary pursuit and, yes, the business can be hard and frustrating. I get all of that. But, I also know that sitting in my house writing for a living is better than almost any other occupation out there. Ask anyone who works in a factory or in a dangerous situation. My grandfather was a coal miner. Now there’s a fun-filled occupation and those guys whine far less than the authors in this article. Hell, I was a divorce attorney outside of D.C. for 12 years. Try sitting through a daily parade of crying, whining and fighting over stupid stuff like who gets the curtains or who gets the kids for an extra hour on the days they get out of school early. Trust me, that stuff will suck out your soul. I’ll take (significantly) less pay and (significantly) more future job uncertainty any day over my old life. And, I was in a safe working environment and working with people I liked, admired and enjoyed seeing every day (the folks who worked at the firm, not the clients). Imagine if I worked in the meatpacking industry or something.

My best advice to writers: Stop this because you sound ridiculous. Most people would kill to be you. Yeah, there are downsides but there is a downside to everything and, well, that’s life so deal with it. Finally, grow the hell up and cut the whining.

Maybe it’s a bit of a throwback to the 80s, but I love the workplace romance novel. My preference is for a modern twist – ie, the heroine doesn’t have to be the alpha boss hero’s administrative assistant. She can be a co-worker, the boss, an outside consultant – whatever.

I wrote two workplace novellas before I sold to Brava. My now editor (then, not-yet-editor) read them, liked the writing but expressed some concerns in today’s PC world about the workplace romance. In the near future, I plan on pulling out one of those novellas, seeing what I think of it now, and then re-writing it top to bottom to see if I can walk the fine line between workplace romance and workplace harassment.

With this background in mind, I picked up a copy of the June/July Details magazine. After reading it, I’m not exactly sure who the target male audience is. The magazine is an interesting mix of high fashion and guy stuff, like the article about Prince William which is really an open letter to him in which the article’s author suggests it’s time for Prince William to get his sexual freak on and start sleeping with as many skanky women as possible. Also in this edition is an article called Office Jerk by Gillian Telling. I thought it was about loser co-workers until I read the tagline, which goes like this: “Masturbating at work may seem risky, but it could be the secret to your success.” Uh-huh.

Needless to say, I read the entire article. And, yeah, I laughed several times. My favorite quote goes like this:

“I have all these hotties running around my office,” says Jimmy, a 30 year-old who works in advertising in New York. “I can get hard at the whiff of perfume. Sometimes I need to rub one out so I can actually do my work.”

You read that right – he’s 30 not 13. And, no, he’s probably not romance hero material. But, see, this proves romance is not dead in the workplace….or, maybe it just proves that there are quite a few 30-somethings in New york who are using office bathrooms for more than the urinals. Interesting.

Huge Congratulations to my oldest niece Jennifer. She graduates from high school today – Wahoo for Jennifer!!!!

I was supposed to be there to see her get her diploma and cheer her on, but I got sick. Damn germs!!! I postponed the trip, sent a gift (an iPod – she knows, so that’s not a secret – and a little something from Coach) and will take her shopping for school stuff when I get to Pennsylvania at the end of the month.

Have a great night, Jen. Have fun (the safe kind) and enjoy!

For Samhain/Kensington news, check out Dear Author. From now on, I plan to check the site first thing every morning for news about what’s happening at my own publisher…[sigh]

But, back to me. Robin Snodgrass read YOUR MOUTH DRIVES ME CRAZY for review over at Romance Junkies. She stopped by here and said some lovely things in the comments about the book – thank you, Robin! She also asked about other related books I might be writing. Thought I’d go ahead and share that info. See, I first envisioned three books set in Kauai after my hubby and I vacationed there. The beautiful area, complete with lush greenery and the unique purple and brown rock of Waimea Canyon, seemed like the perfect place to set a book.

I began with the idea of two folks who end up on Kauai to investigate the mysterious death of a tourism helicopter pilot – the dead man being the heroine’s brother and the hero’s old (estranged) Air Force buddy. After starting, I decided the “series” would work better if I started with a local. Thus, YOUR MOUTH DRIVES ME CRAZY was born. In my July release, the hero (Kauai police chief Kane Travers) finds a naked woman washed up on the beach (heroine Annie Parks) and…well, let’s just say his life is never the same again.

As the series now goes, YOUR MOUTH DRIVES ME CRAZY is the first Kauai book and comes out July ‘07 (June 26th). The second is the helicopter pilot death story. It’s written and turned in. I think it will be out in September ‘08. The third book will be FBI agent Josh’s story. Josh is a secondary character in YOUR MOUTH DRIVES ME CRAZY. A real guy’s guy. I haven’t written his story yet. But, it’s coming. Probably sometime in 2009.

And, yes, you may notice that there are a few books stuck in between these Kauai books, most noticeable, a totally unrelated single title (tentatively titled LITTLE WHITE LIES) that will come out in March ‘08. For whatever reason, the books did not come to me and out of my boom-boom-boom. Since each stands alone, I’m thinking this is okay. I just hope you all stick around for all three.

One of the benefits of being sick and unable to go anywhere or do anything is in being able to read the newest issue of RT from cover to cover without interruptions and before my dog has a chance to eat it. In addition to my very good review for YOUR MOUTH DRIVES ME CRAZY, there also was an ad for the book. And, really, there just can’t be enough me, can there?

Other interesting tidbits not involving me…

There’s an article about Dean Koontz. Now, whether you like his books or not, the guy has a cool dog named Trixie. Trixie has written two books, including the adorable Life Is Good. Dean loves Trixie and is not ashamed to say so. That makes me love Dean.

The Fan Forum includes some gossip from the RT Convention. I was at said Convention and missed all of this. Maybe a bit less time at the bar next trip… Anyway, according to Flavia: “There was a mini-showdown where an old-school author ‘demonized’ a young, dew-eyed newcomer at one of the panels. A few publishers were feuding a bit over poached authors and migrating staff. And an urban fantasy author alluded to a ‘fishy’ duel with a bestselling paranormal author.” Since I’m not dew-eyed, have not been poached and do not write paranormal or fantasy, I know none of this related to me.

There’s a discussion about authors who kill of main characters. Clearly, that is not the normal in the happily-ever-after world of romance novels, but it happens. Readers don’t like it. To that Charlaine Harris says: “I reserve the right to kill anyone I damn well please.” Well, there you go.

There’s a spotlight on author James Rollins. I had not heard of Rollins but he is listed as being a “bestselling novelist” so what do I know. The article is interesting in that Rollins received 49 rejections before he sold. Also, Rollins is a vet. He always wanted to write but focused on being a vet. He says, and this is worth reading, “I kept saying, one of these days I’ll start. But when I reached my 30th birthday, I realized I didn’t have an infinite number of one-of-these-days.” Good quote.

As usual, many books and covers (other than my own) grabbed me (covers below). Here are a few:

Code Name: Bikini by Christina Skye – the cover just sort of shouted “look at me!”

The Ultimatum by Dan Graziano – The description in the Avon ad said: “For every woman who’s ever asked herself, ‘What in the world was I thinking?’ comes this hilarious exploration of the male mind.” Avon and male author – yeah, that one is on my To Buy list.

Three Motives for Murder by Michele Perry – Liked the cover. Remember liking Perry. I’m in for a try.

Prime Time by Hank Phillippi Ryan – From the photo, Hank the author is a woman. That caught my attention. And I liked the cover. And I haven’t tried the Next imprint yet despite Kassia’s attempts to get me to do so.

So, I’m sick. Like, can’t hold my head up type of sick. I hate that. While I wallow in my germs, I thought I’d point out some info around the net.

First, if you haven’t already, make sure you check out the new site Romantic Advances. Very cool. Seeing what’s coming out over the next 6-8 months appeals to me on every level. This is a fabulous idea and one started by people you likely already know and like.

Second, YOUR MOUTH DRIVES ME CRAZY got a 4 Star review from RT – yay!!! Reviewer Jennifer Madsen says:

This is a fast-paced, hot and heavy romance with a twist of suspense and mystery. The constant banter of Dimon’s characters is a driving force of the book, creating sexual tension and humor. The story ends with an eyebrow-raising surprise that readers won’t see coming.

Go buy it.

No, really, go buy it.

Third, I have admitted being a tad confused about some of Harlequin/Silhouette’s publishing decisions of late. The newest announcement relates to the launch of a nonfiction program at Harlequin. I’m not sure what to say about this one.

I’m sure there’s more news, but I need to go take some meds and throw my body on the couch.