HelenKay Dimon

I’ve decided I want to be Dennis Lehane when I grow up. In addition to a wildly successful writing career, the guy is on a roll for having his books made into “Big Time” movies. Clint Eastwood directed Mystic River. Ben Afleck picked Lehane’s Gone Baby, Gone for his directorial debut. Now Martin Scorsese is going to direct Shutter Island.

And the guy seems humble. Take, for instance, this bit from an AP article via CNN:

So what’s Lehane’s explanation? His talent is not, he insists, originality of plot, going so far as to say his plots “could be found on an episode of ‘CSI’ or ‘Law & Order.’ ” He’s merely happy to take credit for doing what he does very well, which is to write meaty, morally ambiguous, thought-provoking crime novels centered in the seamiest parts of Boston.

No, his explanation for his success is simpler: Pure luck. “I am just the luckiest guy on the planet,” he says. (If you suspect he used a more colorful word than “guy,” you’re right.) “Because I’m Irish, I keep looking at the sky, waiting for it to fall.”

His advice to the student writers in his class is: “If you learn how to write well, to write with depth, cream will rise to the top. You’ll get published.” I’d add in that part about needing some luck from the previous quote. Otherwise, good advice.

Seems to me we all need some good news. And, the December holidays are coming fast. So…it’s giveaway time!

A few weeks ago I did two discussions/signings with Vicki Lewis Thompson. Nice lady. Smart, talented and very kind to this newbie author.

Vicki writes funny. Writing funny is really hard. In part, the problem is that what one person finds funny turns out to be dumb or snarky or over-the-line to someone else. One thing that made me chuckle was Vicki’s answer to the question about the “death” of the romantic comedy – ie, the idea that no one is buying it or reading it. That was news to Vicki. See, she’s selling and keeps selling. To her, romantic comedy was alive and well. I’m thinking that’s proof that if you do it and do it well, the readers will buy it…so long as they know it’s out there to be bought.

Vicki is best known for her Nerd series. She hit the NYT bestseller list with that one. But, Vicki has written about more than nerds. She’s sold over 90 books. Her funny new series is not based on the Nerds. It’s about witches and dragons and…well, why take my word for it. Comment here on romantic comedy or Vicki or whatever you want between now and Saturday night and you’ll be entered to win a signed copy of Vicki’s newest – Over Hexed. Second in the series, Wild & Hexy , will be out in July ‘08, followed by Casual Hex in Feb. ‘09.

Good luck!

I know I’m going to regret this, but…

Two days ago I posted a small portion of the review Entertainment Weekly did on Diana Gabaldon’s newest book. Let me say that again so there’s no confusion: the review someone else – not me – wrote on Gabaldon’s new book. You can read my blog entry here. The only change from the original post is the UPDATE part at the beginning.

One of the comments I got in response to the blog that day referred to the fact I wrote the review without reading the book. I thought it was an odd comment since I didn’t actually review the book, so I responded and reiterated that fact. Then I got an email. A nasty email. One that was sent to me and to my agent (yes, my agent). The author of the nasty email called me names and said I was illiterate. There was more, but you get the gist. Then, as I predicted to friends after I got this nasty email, a 1 star review of my book YOUR MOUTH DRIVES ME CRAZY suddenly appeared on Amazon. It went up at about the same time I got the nasty email. The email and review are from the same person. The Amazon review was gone but is now back. Go figure. Either way, it says:

I have read very good romance novels before I picked up this one.
Its easy to find authors who can string thoughts and words together, If you find this book in your hand,I am so sorry for you.
This author finds her words in Travel Brocures.
I wonder if the pictures on her blog are the same people who wrote such large chunks of dialog in the reviews. Who else bothers with direct words from the book in a reviews? I can only guess the same lawyers or their employees.
Check out the pictures on her web site and its full of her and lawyers as well as those travel pictures. At least She knows who to credit in pictures.

Uh-huh.

Since I didn’t actually write a review on the damn Gabaldon book – thought I’d repeat that again in case anyone somehow still is confused on that major point – I was pretty stunned by the vitriolic email this woman wrote. But, this fake Amazon review is more troubling. It’s a little too easy for angry people with convoluted agendas to do this.

Now, to the credit of the woman who wrote the nasty email, once I pointed out that I never said anything bad about Gabaldon, the writer apologized. She picked up her wrong information about me off a yahoo email loop. Yeah, those fabulous romance yahoo loops. Once she understood I did not do what I was being accused of doing, she said she would try to tell the people on the loop that I did not write whatever offensive thing the yahoo loop folks think I wrote. While I appreciate the gesture, I’m frustrated and concerned that something can get blown out of proportion like this and that no one checks their facts before spewing nastiness on the internet.

[imagine my head blowing off my shoulders at this point]

So, what should an author do about this sort of thing? I’m thinking the general view is that an author should do exactly…nothing. Where is Monica with those calming devices when you need her?

Despite the general view that authors should stay quiet about stuff like this, I would like to say a few general things to the fangirls out there:

1. I don’t know Diana Gabaldon but I’m betting she would not be happy to know her fans are out here doing stuff like this on her behalf. I don’t know any authors who would want their fans to act like this. Authors stop by here all the time. Do any of you guys want your fans to do this? So we’re clear, I don’t.

2. Don’t take everything that’s said on a yahoo loop as gospel. Check for yourself before you get ticked off and do something nasty.

which leads me to…

3. Don’t do anything nasty. Please, please, please never write a fake 1 star Amazon or B&N review out of spite. I continue to be stunned and saddened that people do this sort of thing. It is so junior high – which is a very bad thing – and damaging. I just can’t believe grown-ups think it’s okay to act this way. Naive, I know, but this sort of vindictive thing is beyond me, especially when, like here, all the nastiness is based on misinformation

I’m not loving the romance community today…

I’m over at Access Romance talking about romance heroine names and an excerpt I read on the dummies.com site.

Specifically, I was looking at an excerpt from the Writing A Romance Novel for Dummies by Leslie Wainger. In addition to the heroine name thing that’s the subejct of my AR blog, another statement from the book grabbed my attention:

Don’t let your heroine realize she’s beautiful. This tip may seem like a small point, but especially in our visually driven society, it’s actually an important one. Most women are very critical of their own appearances.

I see Wainger’s point on the self-esteem thing, but I must admit this idea doesn’t always work for me. Yeah, Wainger is brilliant and runs Harlequin and is an expert. I know that. I’m not doubting her authority to speak on the subject of romance novels. I would just respectfully disagree on this general premise. See, in my view, to read romance novels you’d think there were hordes of stunning women walking around out there and blinding society with their overwhelming beauty all while somehow remaining oblivious to the drooling men falling down in their paths. I don’t think so. I think most objectively and outwardly attractive women know they are outwardly attractive on some level. Sure, they find faults with their hips or legs or whatever, but that’s not the same as being unable to see any attractiveness. I’d actually prefer to see a romance heroine or two recognize their attractiveness. Let their insecurities come from something else.

I’ve long admitted that book titles and covers impact my buying choices. As a result, I was very interested in a contest held by the The Atlanta Journal-Constitution . It was called the World’s Worst Book Title Contest. Note that these are titles of published books and not ones someone made up.

Ready?

The winner was: Cooking With Pooh. Yeah, it’s a real book. The good news here is that the “Pooh” is Winnie the Pooh, but still. Some other impressive entries were:
-Letting It Go: a History of American Incontinence
-The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America: A Guide to Field Identification
-Everything You’ll Need to Remember About Alzheimer’s

Again, these are real books. And, for those wondering about the shopping cart book, you can find it here. The synopsis on B&N says: “A must-have for anyone with a passion for shopping carts and a love of the great outdoors.” I’m not even sure what to say about this, so I won’t say anything.

Every author out there who has complained about your book’s title – do you feel better?

UPDATE: To all of the Gabaldon fans who have written me nasty emails about this entry, please note that I did not review Gabaldon’s book. Entertainment Weekly reviewed the book. If you don’t like what the reviewer at EW said, then write to the reviewer there. And, maybe, be a bit more careful before you start namecalling and posting fake 1 star reviews at Amazon.

It’s check-in day at the Sweat Challenge. Go post those numbers!

Speaking of writing (how’s that for a segue?)…In the newest issue, Entertainment Weekly named J.K. Rowling Entertainer of the Year. Always nice to see an author get huge recognition. Doesn’t happen often, but it’s nice to see. Guess it’s hard to ignore the fact she’s sold 400 million books. Think about that number.

Also in this issue is a review of Diana Gabaldon’s newest, Lord John and the Hand of Devils. Gabaldon actually gets the lead review – ie, the big one. That’s the good news. The bad news is that the reviewer manages to use the term “bodice ripper” in the review. [sigh] She gives the book a B- and says:

Is Gabaldon’s work vivid and transporting? Undeniably. Is it overripe, long-winded and silly? Oh, aye. As your critic, I am on the fence: I can’t recommend these breathless bodice rippers, but I ken their appeal, I do.

I’ve never read Gabaldon – yes, I admit it – so I can’t speak to this book or Gabaldon’s writing. I have heard Gabaldon speak. I found her…interesting. The review is equally interesting in that it is positive at points and dismissive at others. Dismissive is not new for the romance genre. We deal with that all the time. But, the reviewer seemed to have a reluctant respect for Gabaldon. That’s something. Not much, but something.

Anyone reading Gabaldon’s newest? I’m trying to figure out if she’s still as popular as she was when Outlander came out.

I’m still getting caught up with everything. In fact, if I owe you a book or bookmarks or something of that sort, don’t panic. The packages will go out on Monday.

In the interim, I’ve been reading Obsession, Deceit and Really Dark Chocolate by Kyra Davis. This is the third Sophie Katz (the heroine) novel.

The first in the series, Sex, Murder and a Double Latte, caught my attention because it came out originally as a small hardcover. It was the first time I saw a Red Dress Ink book (Harlequin’s chick lit imprint) in hardcover. I was intrigued, so I picked it up. Read it, loved it, had to buy it again when my dog ate my copy…

Note that she never eats books I hate.

Here’s a back-and-forth in Obsession between Sophie (who is an author and wannabe PI) and another character named Johnny that made me chuckle:

“I’m an author, too, you know.”

“Really,” I [Sophie] asked. “What have you written?”…

“I haven’t actually written anything, but I do have a book. It’s all up here.” He tapped his forehead with his index finger.

I managed not to roll my eyes. I had long since lost track of how many people (from lawyers to waiters) had told me they were really writers at heart. As far as I was concerned that claim didn’t mean a lot until you wrote something. It was a detail that most of these unrecognized “authors” didn’t seem to be willing to address.

All goes back to the same point: writers write.

I don’t know what this gif is supposed to be. All I know is that it cracked me up, so I posted it.

It’s a turkey…right?

To everyone in the United States: HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

To everyone outside of the United States: Have a great Thursday!

There’s just something about the holidays that makes getting anything done impossible. I don’t do any of the cooking in my house – which is a very good thing – so the Thanksgiving feast is not my job. You’d think not having to worry about the grocery shopping, the cooking or traveling anywhere to visit family (they are visiting me this year) that I’d have all of this free time. Uh, no. I’m behind on just about everything. I’ll catch up, but this is the anxious time when I repeat over and over, “I should be doing this” and “I should be doing that” all while not actually “doing” anything.

In the middle of this mess, one of the great things I did manage to do was join my writing panel on Sunday. What great fun! Fellow panelist Eden Bradley commented that she needs to get some photos up from the event. That sounded like a good idea to me. So, here’s one of us (from left to right: me, Vicki Lewis Thompson, Eden and Leigh Court):

Don’t we look happy? That’s because Fronnie Lewis and her Cheers for Writers event was really well done. Fronnie made it easy for us to get up there, talk and engage with a great crowd.

Note how I’m holding that cup of coffee as if it’s the last one left in the world. You’d think I had a latte addiction or something…

The Weekend Of Booksigning Events is now over. Between driving all over So. Cal., chatting and stopping by an IKEA tent sale, I’m a bit tired this morning. Frankly, the tent sale finished me off. Tables of Christmas decorations I don’t need in colors that don’t match anything and all priced at $1.99 – how am I supposed to say no to that?

I will be sharing details, photos and giving away some signed books by my fellow authors – Vicki Lewis Thompson, Eden Bradley and Leigh Court – this week and post-Thanksgiving. Must recuperate first. While I do that, you can check out the excerpt for my March ‘08 release, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW on the Coming Soon page. This book starts with the hero dumping the heroine with a “it’s not you, it’ me” speech in the first chapter. Yeah, that just screams hero, doesn’t it? He thinks he’s being noble…and don’t they always? He makes many (many, many) more dumb male mistakes before he gets it right. Check it out.