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September 15th, 2011
On Television

While I am very excited (and a tiny bit crazed) about my new release – THE BIG GUNS – there are a few things I’m not excited about in television land, so I thought I’d share:

1. The Charlie’s Angels reboot. This might be brilliant but I’m kind of reboot-ed out. Enough with remaking things from my childhood – Karate Kid, Footloose, and anything else Hollywood is thinking of remaking. Honestly, Hollywood. Enough. Buy my books if you want to make something new.

2. The new show Revenge. Again, this could be Emmy gold, but have you see the commercials? There’s a pretty chick in a long dress walking on a beach and talking about getting revenge for her father’s death. That sounds like a book, maybe a Lifetime movie. I’m having a tough time seeing how there’s enough plot for more than two episodes. The hubby is convinced it will be cancelled by the third episode.

3. The Ringer. This one is just me being childish. I’m not ready to see Sarah Michelle Gellar as anyone but Buffy. I apologize but I’m still stamping my foot.

4. Another Torchwood. Okay, I am a sci-fi geek girl but I watched the Miracle Day miniseries and still am confused. What was with that ending? Not to spoil it for you, but the answer to What is The Blessing? is a crack in the Earth’s wall that looks like lady parts. I kind of felt like I was getting punk’d.

5. Criminal Minds. I used to love this show, which probably says some scary things about me, but when the show’s folks broke up the team last season I stopped watching. And don’t even get me started on the spinoff. This show, like Hawaii Five-0, is on HelenKay probation. If Five-0′s writing stops sucking and Criminal Minds stops messing up a good cast, I’m solidly back in. And while I’m at it, Glee is on probation too. It felt kind of Afterschool Special-ish to me last season (and if you don’t know what that means, you’re likely much younger than I am – damn you).

6. That new series on Showtime with Kelsey Grammer. I cleary read too much on TMZ about him dumping his wife and kids for a younger version because I see his face and want to kick him, and that makes me sad. Yeah, it’s not my business but I’m done. Dude, if you want to leave your wife that’s your business but there’s a way to do it without looking like an asshat.

7. Pan Am and anything with Playboy bunnies. The reviewers may be excited but I’m really not.

8. Anything with doctors or families of police officers. Yeah, I know this wipes out a lot of new shows, but there are so many. Actually, maybe there aren’t many but it feels that way. Guys in uniform – yes. Four generations of cops – no.

9. Grey’s Anatomy and Brothers & Sisters. Are either of these still on? If so, I think we should reconsider. Grey’s Anatomy lost me years ago with that stupid episode about the ship hitting the pier and Meredith jumping into the water…see, just thinking about it made me angry. It was that dumb.

10. Anything with a circus. I don’t know if there is anything scheduled like this. Really doesn’t matter. My general rule is no circus-themed television shows.

I’m sure there’s more, but you get the idea.